God Has No Purpose

God Has No Purpose

I am ending all the universes today. I will see millions of beings crying and suffering as it happens. I decided to give the story a dramatic end, setting everything ablaze. I grew bored with the nearly 2 billion years of history I created one day when, out of boredom, I decided to create "life." In this process, two types of beings appeared in different forms:

• On one hand, I designed wild creatures whose sole purpose was to survive.
• On the other hand, beings with "consciousness" who had the idea that they were important in the development of history. Beings who, as they evolved, became so pretentious as to think they had a greater purpose. They even came to believe that survival was, at the very least, the greatest purpose. And the truth is, if I could decide, they would have disappeared from the very beginning of my existence, which I don't remember when it was and wouldn't care to know.

I want to focus on the latter beings. Some of them came to praise me, thinking I created them. Some of them thought that acts like going to a temple, sacrificing an animal, or killing each other were what I would have wanted to ensure them a place by my side in a supposed paradise.

If they knew the "hell" in which I live.

I live in emptiness. What exists, exists because I decide it.

And if I created a being like myself, for some damned reason I would be more powerful and would not have company here.

"God created me in His image and likeness," say some of those who admire me on some planets. Maybe I suppose that at some point I had the same qualities as some tiny and insignificant species that I so admire. And gradually, I discovered what I was capable of, until I was capable of so much that I was no longer incapable of anything.

But I never died.

I don't remember where the idea of death as the end of things came from. However, when I conceived this idea of disappearing for my creations, it became a fantasy for me.

Because I have always wanted to disappear, but that is the only power I don't have.

I have created so many universes. At first, I was happy with the creativity with which I could imagine new forms of life. The ideas that came to my head were so many that I decided to create not just one universe at a time, but as I had more and more ideas, I created more and more universes. In the beginning, I only created one world at a time, but my mind printed ideas as if there were no tomorrow.

I have created infinite different species. In each world, there are beings so different that if I lived as a human (for example), I would not be able to conceive the species that live millions of light-years from their planet.

And I want to use humans to show my own misery.

Like humans, there are infinite species in infinite universes. To portray the insignificance of life, let’s use Horacio as an example.

Horacio is a man who is 56 years old. Horacio had a very "interesting" life by human standards. Horacio has gone through 3 divorces, has bankrupted 3 companies, and has abandoned his 3 children. I find the coincidence of the number 3 amusing; just for that, I designed this destiny for him. However, Horacio praises me, as he believes that my forgiveness is the only way to enter heaven. As God, sometimes I stop taking control of his life and allow him to continue on his own, just to see what he does. And after I stopped taking control of his life, he began to praise me, as looking back, he thought he had been a terrible person. And he wanted my forgiveness. Horacio, my friend, nothing makes sense, man. If you want, I’ll bring you to my side for a moment to see how miserable my existence is.

Horacio, I decided, was going to die of old age, having earned the forgiveness of everyone, as this way he would have hope of being with me. So Horacio ascended to the "heavens" and accompanied me for a few years. Most beings don’t have a "soul," but when I remove the control I have over them, they acquire one, and thus they can control their destiny without my help. And maybe that's how I would want to live myself. With a soul. And the soul is nothing more than the awareness that everything will end. And sometimes, this forces some beings to feel more deeply. Some take advantage of this and want my forgiveness. Others devote their lives to "love," as they believe that this creates a better world.

It’s a nice illusion that I might even envy a little from humans.

But now I want to talk about the one being I feel I empathize with the most, if I can feel any sort of empathy.

His name is Anderson.

Anderson is 32 years old. He had a rather complicated life by human standards.

He lives in a country at war. He escaped with his grandmother when he was 12 years old. His parents died when soldiers invaded his city and ruthlessly killed everyone present. Anderson was 10 years old at that time.

After many tribulations, he arrived in a rich and peaceful country. Over the years, he studied and tried to adapt to the culture, but he always felt like an oddity amidst such perfection.

During his university studies and professional career, he experienced love. Or rather, loves. After the war and achieving stability in a new homeland, he began to worry about more bourgeois problems like feelings.

However, here he found other misfortunes that, although they seemed minor, he felt deeply. He had 4 love stories:

• Maria, his first relationship of 4 years with whom he almost married, ended after she was unfaithful to him twice.
• Mariana, a 9-month relationship that he started just because he was horny. She was crazy, but he stayed with her until he discovered self-confidence to try with other women. He was never unfaithful but ended the relationship as soon as he knew what he was capable of in the world of romance.
• Then, he had his first experience with a girl from a more privileged country. It was Margarina, a girl who seemed exotic to someone from a culturally strict country like Anderson’s. With her, he discovered that the privileged world had such a different idea of love that it was not compatible with his values. That relationship lasted 2 months, but it was the most intense he had, according to him.
• Finally, he had his longest relationship. Lucerna, with whom he spent 7 years. They traveled the world, created a thousand stories together, and were happy until one day Lucerna proposed opening the relationship to keep the spark alive. After 2 years with this arrangement, Anderson saw no point in continuing.

Anderson did not end this last relationship, at least not formally. Something interesting happened with Anderson. The day I decided to withdraw control and grant him a soul, he decided to disappear. On any given day, he decided to escape. He only took what was necessary from his home and left without a destination.

Anderson, suddenly, felt nothing for anyone. Only frustration and pain.

Because after having lived the pains of war, he thought his life would have a greater purpose in the privileged world. But after so many pleasures, everything seemed temporary, and after casual sex or after eating the best cake on the corner, his soul remained empty, as it seemed that nothing satisfied his desire to feel alive.

Because after having loved so much, he understood that the idea of "soulmate" only existed in fairy tales and that really, we are all temporary, not only in this world but also in the lives of others.

Because after having lived so much, he understood that life has no meaning.

However, Anderson continued living for a few more years. He himself doesn’t know why he didn’t end his life. He was just seeking pleasure after pleasure, to fully exploit the human sensations that make the body feel alive.

But while the body lived, Anderson's soul could not stop feeling that emptiness, that insignificance that I myself feel now.

The difference between Anderson and me is that Anderson can die and I cannot, no matter how much I have tried.

However, Anderson feels exactly the same sense of insignificance that I do. For no matter how many things we have experienced, how many lives we have lived, and how many ideas we have thought, the conclusion has become the same: We have no purpose.

And in some universes, they believe that love is what I want. At one point, it felt good, as among my many crazy ideas, "love" seemed like something beautiful that gave meaning to existence.

But in some universes, love ends and destruction begins. Sometimes I haven’t done anything to destroy planets and universes. It’s the very force of their chaos that has caused wars. And thus, they self-destruct.

And yes, I have control. But if chaos seems to be a possible outcome, and death can be caused intentionally, shouldn’t it be possible for me to also experience that fear of the end and experience it for myself? To love, to hate, to feel, all these feelings are conditioned by the idea of the "end." And the end makes humans (for example) understand that they must make the most of their time in the universe, as it is finite and further exacerbates the idea of wanting to give everything for the loved one or eliminate any threat to live a full and problem-free life.

Of course, I also designed some humans (for example) like cows preparing for the slaughterhouse, robots who never question anything and resemble the cows going to the slaughterhouse. However, these kinds of humans should be the envy of those with consciousness.

For some of those with consciousness reach the same point Anderson reached. They have had that "revelation" or "nirvana" that some "spiritual" people talk about. Those pretentious "spiritual" people who have never had the true revelation that one should have in life. The revelation that I, as God, experienced one day, and that leaves me in this state of boredom and disgust that I am in today.

The revelation that none of this makes sense.

Nothing.

We exist because we exist. I myself don’t remember when I started to exist.

The only difference between this small group of humans (for example) and me is that humans have consciousness of a beginning or an end. I will never have that, unfortunately.

However, some, like Anderson, have consciousness of my existence, but they know that neither they nor I have a purpose in our lives. They exist purely by the chance of my creation, but I don’t care about their fate, only sometimes for my entertainment. And this select group of humans knows it.

I exist only by the chance of chances. I have no beginning or end. Some think of me as a computer program, others as a being of light or an angel, and some others see me as human as they are.

However, Anderson and those who have had the revelation know that my form or my project does not matter. And why doesn’t it matter? Because the only truth is emptiness. Neither I, the most powerful being of the universes, nor humans (for example) are here to do anything or to reach heaven. We are because we are, we exist because we exist.

This universe of 2 billion years will disappear. Maybe in another 10 million years, I will invent infinite new universes. Maybe I will create other species similar to humans on some planets. But the truth remains the same: Nothing is the only constant.

However, on just one of those planets with humans (for example), I will leave an important message in the minds of all, as from my envy I want them to know this:

"Hello, I am God, as they call me in some universes. Here where I am, there is no end, as I only know the concept of end as an invention of my own to end and finalize stories that entertain me for a while. Oh friends! If you only knew how blessed you are to have death with you. For I, here, from what you call 'paradise,' do not feel anything as intense as you do. The only strong feeling I have is the desire for everything to end.

Live as if there were no tomorrow. Love, kiss, talk, create. Exist until you can’t anymore. Because when everything is possible as it is for me, nothing is exciting again. You, Maria, tell the popular kid at school that you love him. You, Jose, tell your boss he’s a jerk and burn down the offices. You, Josue, don’t stop training until you’re the best fighter in all universes.

Live. Do. Feel. I envy you friends, for you, doing these things can mean the end of your feelings, the beginning of another story, or the end of your lives. Live! For I, who have lived so much, am tired of living."

And by writing this letter, I envy humans (for example) from the future even more. For even after the revelation in which nothing makes sense, some will find a purpose in their lives. Love, kiss, talk, and believe as much as possible. For they know that, although life has no meaning, they can live it as much as they can without fear of being punished or disappeared.

Because the only real thing is the present, for them.

For me, the only real thing is infinity. As God, I cannot be physically or mentally tired. However, somehow, I am tired.

And so things are, nothing makes sense. Not for humans (for example) and certainly not for me. I am here "above" as they say, merely a spectator of people like Anderson: who are aware of death, of the lack of purpose of their existence, and yet decide to live to the fullest, as they have no other path but to make the most of the time they have in their world.

For me, as God, the only "sin" is when a human decides to end their existence. Death is also my task.

And yes, I know it sounds hypocritical. But if I had the idea of the end in my mind as they do, I would live with excitement until the smallest event of my life.

Here, in the infinite, nothing seems interesting to me.

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Anderson woke up in a hotel that had only 2 out of 5 stars on his phone app, after 3 days drugged with a new synthetic substance. It was his 33rd birthday, but since he disappeared, no one celebrates with him. Anderson lives as what he is: just another ant in this universe.

He saved a bit of money to eat Spanish omelet (his favorite dish) and go to a bar to hopefully dance and meet a girl he could sleep with tonight.

Anderson long ago accepted the idea of emptiness and insignificance. And since then, he has been happier.

Because he is the artist and life is his canvas.

Because he can do whatever he wants in this life. In the end, nothing makes sense.

Because in the brink of an eye, all the universes could be set on fire.